Interview with Dr. Eliza

http://www.chayden.net/eliza/Eliza.html


>> Hello.
How do you do.
Please state your problem.>>
I am nervous
Is it because you are nervous that you came to me ?>>
Yes
You seem to be quite positive.>>
I think I am
How long have you been ?>>
years
I'm not sure I understand you fully.>>
I have been nervous for years
You say you have been nervous for years ?>>
yes
You are sure.>>
yes
I see.>>
How can you help me?
Why do you ask ?>>
That is why I am here
Does that question interest you ?>>
That is why I came here to speak to you today
What is it you really wanted to know ?>>
What to do about my nervousness
Your nervousness ?>>
my feelings of fear or apprehension
Why do you say your feelings of fear or apprehension ?>>
I am trying to describe my nervousness
Does that suggest anything else which belongs to you ?>>
like what?
Are such questions much on your mind ?>>
not really
Does that have anything to do with the fact that your nervousness ?>>
Probably.
Does that have anything to do with the fact that your feelings of fear or apprehension ?>>
You are not making sense
What makes you think I am not making sense ?>>
You are using the wrong tense with your pronouns
Does it please you to believe I am using the wrong tense with my pronouns ?>>
No.
Are you saying no just to be negative?>>
Yes.I understand.>>
So now what?
What answer would please you most ?>>
The cure.
Earlier you said your nervousness .>>
Yes. The cure to my nervousness.
You seem to be quite positive.>> I am.
Do you believe it is normal to be ?>>
Who wouldn't be?
Please go on.>>
Well, most people would want the cure to their problems.
What does that suggest to you ?>>
That they don't enjoy having problems.
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?>>
That is why I am here today.
What do you think ?>>
About what?
What comes to mind when you ask that ?>>
That you are avoiding my questions.
Is it important that your questions ?>>
See, there is another grammatical flaw.
But your questions .>>
And again.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.>>
That is because you are stupid.
Is that the real reason ?>>
I believe so.
Can you elaborate on that ?>>
I came here for help, and you just keep asking me questions.
Do you say you came here for help for some special reason ?>>
My nervousness.
Your nervousness ?>>
Do we have to go through this again?
Does that have anything to do with the fact that your nervousness ?>>
It has everything to do with it!
Please go on.>>
Gah!
What does that suggest to you ?>>
That I am getting tired of this!
Do you enjoy being getting tired of this ?>>
Do you enjoy getting tired?
We were discussing you -- not me.>>
Well, it was a dumb question.
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?>>
Most of the time.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.>>
I'll say it again: You are Stupid.
Do you sometimes wish you were stupid ?>>
How much is this costing me again?
Have you asked such questions before ?>>
Only when someone was ripping me off.
Have you asked anyone else ?>>
I am strongly considering just that.
Is it because you are strongly considering just that that you came to me ?>>
No.
You are being a bit negative.>>
You are being a bit stupid.
Perhaps you would like to be being a bit stupid .>>
Are you insulting me?
Why are you interested in whether I am insulting you or not ?>>
Because I want to know if I am justified in unplugging you!
Do you think its likely that you are justified in unplugging I ?>>
Yes.
You are sure.>>
Yes.
I see.>>
What?
Why do you ask ?>>
What is wrong with you?
Does that question interest you ?>>
OK, I think we are done here.
That's quite interesting.>>
Good bye.
Please go on.>>
No.
Why not ?>>
I'm leaving.
How long have you been leaving ?>>
Not long enough obviously.
What does that suggest to you ?>>
Why Am I still here?
What is it you really wanted to know ?>>
The meaning of life, the universe, and everything.
Do you feel strongly about discussing such things ?>>
42.
I'm not sure I understand you fully.>>
Goodbye.
Goodbye. Thank you for talking to me.>>
Sure!
Please go on.>>
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
What does that suggest to you ?


© 2009 Tyler Willson. All rights reserved